The North Face

North Face jackets, like bicycle helmets and scuba gear, are practical in specific times and places. North Face is comfortable when camping or hiking. Yet when you wear your boring, generic North Face jacket to the store, or to a restaurant, or a party, you are sending a message to the world: "I don't care about fashion. I have a North Face jacket, and probably some Uggs, and probably some sweatpants, and I have given up on the concept of personal style. I am only out to please my boyfriend, who only wants to see me naked anyway." Is that the message you want to send?

Come now, women have a whole universe of awesome jackets to choose from when it gets cold. How about a button-up military sweater?

Clogs and Uggs

Don't wear them outside your home. Uggs are only okay from your front door to the mailbox, and clogs are only okay if you are a Dutch traditionalist. Crocs are simply not okay. Why? Because they look stupid and lazy, people. You might say "But they're so comfortable!" Look, wearing blocks of cheese on your feet might feel great, but you'd look mentally challenged. There are literally millions of different shoes out there. Find a pair that fit you.

Proper Thickness

There is definitely such a thing as too skinny. It's easy to blame the rail-thin supermodel phenomena on the male gaze, but the fact is most men prefer a softer, curvier body. Scarlett Johansson rather than Kate Moss. Marilyn Monroe rather than Twiggy. There's a long continuum between skinny and fat, and it's even hot to have a 'tummy' as long as you keep your proportions. So be sure to stay healthy, but remember - not all fat is bad fat.

Face Piercings

The main rule is to not go hog wild; don't crowd your face with metal. A good face is a good face. In moderation, piercings can be really hot, but use some tact. Earrings are good, but easy on the gauges/plugs- if you can fit an index finger through your ear lobe, you've gone too far. Monroe piercings can be glamorous, but be tasteful. Monroe was not a skank or a goth. Eyebrow piercings tend to look too much like an injury, and they draw attention away from the eyes, so avoid them altogether. As far as noses go, studs are always cute. Septum piercings and nose rings are more masculine and should be left to the guys, but if you must, don't get something metal. Lip rings are sexy when at the edge of the mouth; right smack in the middle just gets in the way. Snakebites can look cool, but they're not as common and could be off-putting. Finally, tongue piercings are undeniably suggestive, so if you have one you better be kinky enough to back it up.

Heels vs. Converse

Heels should be reserved for formal situations and the workplace. Unless you're on your way to the office or prom, you don't need to be wearing any kind of shoe with stilts. Also, whatever the situation, avoid those scary stripper heels with the straps and shit (unless, of course, you're a stripper). In most casual outfits, high heels can be successfully replaced with Converse All-Stars/Chuck Taylors, which are more fashionable, comfortable and approachable. In fact, the rule of thumb should always be when in doubt, wear the Converse.

Knee Highs

Why don't I see more knee high socks?? It should be common knowledge that these are universally hot. Seriously, any army on earth could be immediately halted by a group of schoolgirls, female soccer players and chicks with cold legs. Japan figured it out decades ago. I know that summer is officially over, but there is still time to show some of that mid-thigh-to-knee area before it gets too cold to even go outside.

Leg Tattoos

Leg tattoos are a bad idea. Legs are some of a girl's best assets, and covering them with ink is like putting lipstick on a flower. If you need tattoos below the waist, stick to ankles and hips.